OlympusGoneCrazy
by athenares
Summary: CHAPTER 3: The THREE DIVINE IDIOTS Part2 Apollo discovers strange feelings for Athena. Introducing DionysusxAriadne, and his new nickname... Lol. R&R please. *Scribble Doo* Warnings for language. AthenAres lifeline.
1. Chapter 1: The Lost Sword of Ares

Chapter 1

**The Lost Sword of Ares**

****Characters: Ares, Dionysus, Eros, Hermes, Apollo, Athena

Setting: Olympus, Woods

* * *

Olympus under siege by invisible monsters

…of BOREDOM.

Apollo stretched his lifeless limbs and opened his mouth to suck air in an annoying yawn, little beads of tears stuck on the edge of his drowsy eyes. He let his face fall on the fountain of water which he was kneeling before, hoping for the cool bliss to keep him awake.

"I told you," Ares spoke, ever apathetic on the corner of the garden, "Spring is a murderer. It kills the inhumanity of mortals," he continued with eyes narrowing to the hateful conclusion, burning with desire for another decade of chaos. Grabbing the handle of his dagger sheathed on his belt, he raised it in mid air with a heroic pose, "KILL THE SPRING GODDESS!"

"You serious? She might hear you." Dionysus calmed him, pushing down Ares' arm which holds the dagger. Ares lowered his arm and sheathing back the dagger, "Nah, she doesn't even exist, does she?"

Apollo's head rose from the water, the little droplets of crystal flowing back to the fountain from his chin. He looked at Dionysus with a question mark in both eyes before answering Ares, "Uh… ask your uncle Hades?"

"What about him?" Ares leaned back to the wall behind him.

"Uhhh… he brought a new auntie home?" Apollo answered in confusion.

"HE'S MARRIED!" Ares' eyes grew wide, unable to control the surprise that purges within. He turned to Dionysus for confirmation and punched the other's arm.

"Ow!" Dionysus held his hurt arm, feeling the hardcore knuckles of a war god dig deep. "Hell yeah! He's married to the goddess of oh – what was that again?—"he scratched his head, "ohhh yeah. The Goddess of Spring! When? Ah! Two full moons ago! And you don't know," he punched Ares twice back on the chest, blows that made him felt his fingers cracked, "Coz' you were rummaging my barrels of wine and got yourself drunk when they wedded!" he turned his back at Ares who felt neither pain nor guilt.

"Are you okay?" Ares asked, seemingly shifting the point of conversation. Dionysus moped in a corner, with a black aura floating around him. Apollo caught Ares' attention and pointed his own fist, "breastplate blues, he got a broken fist and fingers…again."

"Oh."

"Aaaahhhh… Can you gods please ask me to do something?" Apollo yawned once more, feeling the boredom stabbing his back.

"Describe AGONY." the moping Dionysus asked from the corner.

"Agony?"

"Agony."

"Agony is…" Apollo scratched his head, and a sudden pop of idea dawned. He turned to Ares, "All hail Ares! You are the only god who knows that…"

Ares cleared his throat, and a flavor of seriousness lurked with his voice "Agony is… say, Dionysus, you are hanging on a cliff with both hands, letting go of one hand means you fall off and die in the ocean filled with sharks," he looked up,

"And suddenly your butt itches."

Apollo drowned his face back in the fountain; the water stirred and bubbled, muffling his laughing voice. Ares laughed to himself but kept it silent as possible to avoid the rage of an ever sensitive Dionysus.

"I'LL KILL YOU!" Dionysus suddenly thundered with eyes aflame (literally). Ares, rather wanting to have another riot, readied himself with a sinister smile, "C'mon!"

Dionysus paused for a while, fists clenched, his dark wine-red hair danced in grace with whatever the wind might take, "I guess you have to hear my final words for you to remember when you get to hell." Ares raised a brow, seemingly wondering what that all meant.

"Apollo! You jerk! Stop laughing there, get your head out, and do what you're supposed to do when I'm into a fight!" Dionysus yelled, making a rather drowned Apollo raise his head and clear his ears, "Yeah, yeah, I'm here. Go on."

"Ares! Feel my wrath!"

Apollo's voice followed, "Ares! Feel his wrath!"

"I'll make you wish you were never born…"

"He'll make you wish you were a little boy!"

"AYL MEYK YU WIS YU WER NEBER BOOOOORN!"

"Ow, sorry, I got some water stuck in my ear…" Apollo sighed, twirling a pinky on his ear while his other hand slapping the other side of his head. Ares sighed, "Will we ever get into this fight or…?"

"What fight?"

The three turned to the bright pinkish light that descended above them. Dionysus and Apollo covered their faces with a palm while Ares plainly narrowed his eyes to see what was coming. The air was suddenly filled with perfumes. They now knew what they were expecting.

"You know, if you have nothing to do, why don't you help me spread some love?" Eros' wee voice was once again heard. The three sighed, speechless. "No joking, bros." Eros commented after noticing the long silence. He was much younger than the others, and much more petite. He raised a pair of wings and held it in front of everyone, "I got an extra pair of wings here to help you fly, come on, you just need some arrows and a bow and –"

"A diaper…?" Ares cut through.

"I meant love letters. But If you need some diapers then—"

"Naaaaw thanks… I'd prefer being bored…" Apollo's eyes drooped and drowned his head into the water once more.

Ares pointed to Dionysus while tapping the boy's back, "Eros, I guess big brother Dionysus here would like to try becoming a retard…"

"Shattap!" Dionysus hissed.

Eros scratched his head, feeling rather pissed about the quarreling while slowly saying the newest curse in Olympus: "Shyeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiit."

Dionysus suddenly covered the boy's mouth, "Ei, ei, ei, what the? No cursing here alright? You want me to tell your mom?" Ares pulled Dionysus' hand from Eros' mouth and pushed, leaving the boy to face only him. "Dude… won't they ever teach you how to curse. When you say it, you really gotta say it, like an explosion. Just quick and strong, like… SHIT!" Ares demonstrated. Apollo raised his head, eyes wide from what he was hearing. Dionysus' right eye twitched repeatedly.

"You got it?" Ares asked Eros, who nodded.

"Good. Now follow me. Stomp your feet. SHIT!" Ares cursed in demonstration.

"SHIT!" Eros followed, stomping his feet.

"Very good! Once more!"

"SHIT!"

"Ooookey, that's enough cursing lessons for today, Cupido. Skitter scatter. Ha-ha-ha. He's just full of *bleeeeep*" Dionysus pulled Eros by the arm and gently led him away towards the edge of the garden where the clouds floated. It was the only place where the divines heartily watch what is happening on the world below them.

"Hey, no cursing!" Ares commanded, watching Dionysus take Eros to exit. They were about to disappear when Eros turned around, "What does 'SHIT' mean?"

"That's Dionysus' nick name! He'd be happy to hear it! Bye!" Ares waved.

"Bye!" Eros flapped his wings as he waved and went back to Greece to cause another set of love stories. They watched him fly away, with Ares in a light mood still waving and commented, "I hope he learned a lot."

"You bet…" Apollo answered with a voice dying from the same boredom lurking around.

"Ah, I knew I'd find you here," another voice drew attention. All looked behind to see a floating Hermes with the cool wings flapping on his sandals. He gently dropped to the ground, keeping his balance with the scepter he always carried around.

"Hey," Apollo greeted, "what news from below?"

Hermes shrugged his shoulders, "I just had to look over Athena, you know, she's still getting used to mortal grounds. But I can't find her anywhere right now; maybe you've seen her around here?"

"Athena who?" Ares asked after a yawn, "Another one of your m'ladies?"

Apollo tried to hide his laughter while Hermes merely looked at Ares, scanning any jest in his face. Dionysus drove his knuckles on Ares' temples, "Hey pretty boy! Fix your signal! We're already sick of the news you always consider as the latest." He finally calmed down, "Athena's your half sister."

"I HAVE A HALF SISTER!"

"Ugh." Dionysus slapped his forehead, "you literally make me sick."

Hermes interrupted by calling Ares' attention, "By the way, I'm pretty surprised that you get to share some of your stuff now." Ares raised an eyebrow. Dionysus, rather amused at what Hermes brought, wrapped an arm beneath Ares' shoulders, jeering, "Ooh, tough guy's heart's gotten softer huh?"

"I don't know what you're talking about…" Ares scratched his head, "What stuff?"

Apollo agreed, "Yeah, the only stuff this guy's gotta share are gory stories which gives me the night attacks, you know, flying heads and intestines on platters, yech." Ares' face lightened up, "Ahh, have I mentioned to you the time when I was in Hades' realm and got to see some corpse with mutilated—"

"DON'T START'ET!" Apollo and Dionysus cried in chorus, clinging to each other for dear sanity.

Hermes just sighed and decided to intervene, "Hey, can I talk now? No need to answer. By the way, Ares, on my way here, I got to see someone on the woods and I scanning secretly he/she/it was doing. Ah—ah—ah!" he immediately waved hands as 'no' to the others who's faces are getting skeptic, thinking about some perverse ideas. He waited until their faces returned to normal and continued, "I saw the sword sheathed on his/her/its back, and it has a red handle, and I saw the mark, you know, the one that you made Hephaestus emboss on it?"

He watched the wondering face of Ares.

Ares blinked twice, "Are you describing my sword?—ow!" he scratched his head, feeling the small bump on it, "Why'd you have to hit me!"

"Because he's describing your toilet, not your sword, you *bleeeep*!" Dionysus yelled. Ares scoffed, "Dude… don't you ever laugh at all? And no cursing!" he then turned to Hermes, "And where did you say this he/she/it was? Yeah, I remember losing my sword but I just thought maybe it was stuck somewhere in my place…"

"Yeah right," Dionysus rolled his eyes and turned to Hermes, "Why don't we check on this he/she/it that you're talking about?"

"Yeaaaaah I'm going to die from boredom here…" Apollo waved his hands on the air, "Let's catch some he/she/it who took Ares' sword."

* * *

And (poof!) they were on the woods…

* * *

"I'm sure I saw he/she/it around here…" Hermes scratched his face after shoving a branch for them to make way. Their steps made a cracking noise from the dried leaves and twigs. "I hate this smell…" Ares grumbled, covering his nose. They all sniffed and took in the pine smell which marks the peak of spring when trees are green and violets are blue. Suddenly they heard a loud whack on a tree. They exchanged attentive looks and readied their weapons to whatever beast or Cyclops would be around. The same sound was heard and Ares, ever cautious, lowered himself and slowly crawled to a huge dead trunk lying on the ground. It was enough to hide him as he sat behind it. The three followed silently and they raised their heads to let their eyes see whatever was making the creepy whacking noise like bones breaking.

There he/she/it was. But it's more appropriate for a 'he', since 'he' was wearing a male armor. "That's him…" Hermes whispered. They heard the same whacking sound and they saw how the stranger picks up an ax and with a strong and swift swing, the ax flew strait to a tree away from him, making the same creepy sound. Dionysus swallowed, "you sure about this…?"

Ares scoffed in insult, "Am _I_ sure about this? Nah he doesn't even know we're here."

The ax flew straight to the trunk the four were hiding. Apollo looked up and saw the handle of the ax above his hair. He twitched an eye. Ares rose and gracefully caught another ax in one hand, about to be pinned on the same trunk.

He finally caught a clear view of the person. He was wearing full armor: helmet with the red horse crest on top, a breastplate covering his chest, arm and leg bands; the metal was a little old and rusty. Ares ran a hand on his hair and posed in front of the other, giving a taunt, "I'm sorry I hafta humiliate you but that sword, in your back…that's mine! And I'll give you until three counts to give—"

"Ares!" Hermes cried out, seeing his friend got knocked over by a fat tree branch which the stranger swiped over. Apollo would have caught Ares but was crushed by the heavy metals he wore. Ares immediately stood, a pink mark on his forehead, "Why you little *bleeeeep*!"

He was about to seize the one who hit him but it was too late. Ares only saw the branches and bushes shake, indicating a sign of escape. Raging, he ran towards the last direction of the thief. Hermes followed closely while Dionysus carried a twirly-eyed Apollo by an arm.

Ares chased his prey through the woods. Both of them ran, leaped, jumped through stones, fallen tree trunks, rats, skunks, deer, elephants, giraffes, etc. and poo. He felt utterly insulted that he can only catch up to the thief by sight, contrasting the red horse crest above the helmet of the prey, but is unable to touch a single garb. He can see the sword sheathed on the thief's back. He concentrated, and charged a little faster. His thoughts was reeling to a side that he was at his fastest but still can't catch up, wondering who this athletic wanna-be jerk is.

His opportunity came when the thief had followed the normal trail without noticing a shortcut behind a rock which Ares took, and leaped above the other. They fell on the pile of dried leaves with Ares above, ending on a cliff and the sound of waterfall gushing meters from them. The thief grunted as he kicked Ares away. He was about to crawl and position himself to stand when Ares yanked into his leg and both fell once more, forcing himself away from Ares.

"Com'ere!" Ares yelled, successfully overcoming the other and going on top of him, "Come to papa!"

He was greeted, rather, by a quick blow on his face from the thief's fist. Ares grunted and took hold of the thief's abdomen and with full force, broke and opened the old breastplate. He saw the brown tunic worn by his enemy beneath the breastplate and notice that he was rather thin to have such force pushing him away.

Ares locked the hips of the thief between his knees and grabbed the thief's neck. He cannot dig his fingers deep, though, because of the frequent kicking and beating of the one below him. The thief pushed Ares' face with both hands, muffling his voice.

"Erm gowna shtrangle yo, you piesh of—"

Ares' hands were pushed to the thief's chest from the continuous struggle of his prey.

He paused.

Hermes, Dionysus, and Apollo finally caught up with them, and jaw-dropped when they saw what was happening.

Ares squeezed the soft bump on the thief's chest, petrified and stricken. The others can read the 'WHAT THE' traced on Ares' silent lips. He placed the other hand on the other bump beside what he accidentally held and unconsciously squeezed, trying to discern what those softies were.

It finally came to his mind _what_ he was struggling with. He looked at the helmet-covered face of the one below him but was greeted with stars.

"Ohoooooowwwww!" Dionysus yelled and sarcastically clapped after watching how Ares was head-butted by the other.

Ares held his nose and finally got off the thief, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes.

She stood after gathering enough strength and took hold of her helmet while slowly removing it. Long strands of dark wavy hair fell to her waist and she sucked in air before giving Ares a dagger look with her sharp grey eyes.

"WHAT ON GREAT GRANNY'S UNDERPANTS IS BLOODY WRONG WITH YOU!" She lifted the helmet and threw it on a curling Ares on the ground. The helmet bounced from Ares' head, leaving a dent on it. Ares let the doubling visions clear and shook his head once more after seeing the thief's face. She looked down on him, and his eyebrows met.

She called Ares' attention, "So papa," she posed manly, "who's your mama now?"

Ares glanced away and sighed with bitter disappointment on his face.

"What?" she waved her hands, "first time to see a female?"

"In a male armor," he replied quickly.

"Ugh," she ran a hand through her hair, "I can't wait for my own armor, Hephaestus said I'd have to wait till tomorrow… and there's some goon who always follow me around, some Zeus doll. So I had to slip into this piece of junk and run away,"

"It looks great if you'd like to be ridiculous." He commented, dusting his knees while standing. She glared at him and he watched her unsheath the sword on her back. His eyes grew wide as she scanned the blade with her fingers.

"This is such a heavy burden," she scoffed and turned her back on him, heading towards the end of the cliff. The water wayyyyyyy below them stirred into a whirlpool leading to only-Zeus-knows-where. "No no no…" Ares' face turned pale white, "Hey hey just because you got some wavy long hair and uh… those soft balls on your che—"

He was stopped when she grabbed his collar and pulled his face to hers with venomous eyes, ".real…" she spoke between gritted teeth and pushed him away to continue towards the cliff edge. He stopped with a perverse smile and barely watched her stand on the edge, "well there's only one way to prove to me that you're female," he turned to his friends watching a distance away and waved. Hermes and Apollo high-fived before giving Ares a two-thumbs-up.

"Really?" she held the sword by the handle and faced it down below the cliff, ready to drop.

"No no!" Ares panicked, "okay what do you want?"

"An apology?" she raised a brow and placed her free hand on her hip.

Ares was backed, "For what?" he asked.

"Hello? For disturbing my peaceful practices? For chasing me down here? Didn't you just break my breastplate? And – and—"

"And revealed your deep dark secret?"

"I'm a woman!" she screeched and dropped the sword.

"NOOOOOO!" Ares almost yanked at her but was stopped when he saw her catch it with a smirk on her face and a teasing voice, "ohhh, my baaaad…"

Ares dropped to his knees with a sigh of relief. He wiped his brow, "Alright, I… was distracted okay?"

"And lost the fight?"

"Nawwww," Ares laughed, "lose? Me? Umph! What are you talking abou— H-H-HEEEY!" he waved his arms and nearly crawled to her, watching her waving the sword and ready to hurl it away.

She jeered, "HAAAAAAAAHHHH! CHICKEN SHEEEIIIT!" and laughed like a devil.

"Hey! That's my original line! And no cursing!" he yelled.

"Soooo? I'm getting reeeealy impatient here," she sighed, looking down on him. He shook his head and turned to his friends. This time Dionysus gave him the two-thumbs up.

Ares looked at her, "Fine! I'm sorry! I apologize! Jeez!" he mentally smacked himself in the head with eyes shut tight. He opened them as he heard a clank in front of him. The sword lay on the ground, below his nose. She shrugged her shoulders and walked past him, "Apology not accepted," and glared. He took the sword and sheathed it on his belt.

"How the heck did you steal this? I got like, a gazillion, demons on my lair, you can't possib-

"I didn't steal it. Found it in some pool of Cyclops vomit," and rolled her eyes as she continued on her way. "What the—" Ares asked, "Well you got a name, lady?"

"Find out," she replied and passed by the three other gods watching them.

"Athena, you're grounded." Hermes called her attention. She covered her mouth, "Aw Hermes… it's just a little fun…" she looked at her guardian with puppy eyes, convincing him to forgive her and not to tell Zeus about anything.

Ares' eyes grew wide, "A-Athena? Hermes, that is A—," he pinched his temples, "you knew it all along, you…ugh,"

"Why do you have an ass for a friend?" Athena asked the three.

"Don't worry, we'll take care of him," Apollo caught up. Dionysus scoffed.

Athena smiled, "please do," and left them as Dionysus led a hand with a bow and a flirty smile, "after you,"

Ares was rather dismayed at the others while walking towards them. Dionysus poked him with an elbow, "Soooo… how did it feel?"

"What?" Ares felt himself warm a bit, fighting the urge to blush. Dionysus just laughed maniacally and left Ares who merely watched them troll around ahead of him, watching the empty space above. He finally realized he was being left behind, and took a step to follow, holding out his palm and his fingers squeezed into something imaginary.

* * *

_To be cont._


	2. Chapter 2 Part 1: Rivals

CHAPTER 2 (Part 1): RIVALS!

A/N: sorry it took a while :(|)

* * *

"Watch it!" Hephaestus yelled after a swift Ares nearly knocked the pile of armors bulked in his big arms. Ares looked back, still perspiring and out of breath early in the morning with a wave and an apologetic face, "Sorry!" he turned to his direction and…

-BLAM!-

"Ooooh… I see you're early. NOT!" Hermes jeered, floating above him with crossed arms. Ares took his face off the cracked marble column, seeing stars clouding up his vision. He shook his head and finally saw the god floating above him.

Ares looked up at Hermes and smirked, sending chills down Hermes' spine. "What?" Hermes asked with suspicious eyes.

"GIVE ME A RIDE!" Ares excitedly jumped and reached Hermes' foot.

"Ares!What the!" Hermes tried to shove Ares off without mercy, kicking on his face.

"Cr'mown! Ermgowna be rlate!" Ares yelled despite Hermes' sandal shoving in his mouth. Hermes struggled, "No way! You're gonna give me leg cramps! Why the heck did you get a hangover and you know you've gotta tutoring class to do!"

"SHATTAP AND FLY, BALD CHICKEN!" Ares shouted while holding on to Hermes' leg. They almost hit another column.

"Next time I'm gonna get you grounded, you pathetic retard!"

…and they continued to scream out loud in mid air.

"So, to take full responsibility of your supposed godships, you still have to learn very much about the life, work, and feelings of mortals. These classes will help you understand everything about how you will be able to rule your own cities, perhaps." Hestia's gentle voice explained to a more less than a dozen _young_ deities squatting on her feet within the walls of her hearty chamber home. She watched the students nod before continuing, "I am Hestia, goddess of hearth and architecture" after which turned to her back in search for some scrolls, "now where did I put my list?"

Ares entered the room and saw Hestia turning her back on the others. He finally thought of an idea with an evil smirk. He slowly entered the room walking backwards, tiptoeing.

"Stop there! Where do you think you're going young man?" Hestia commanded, tricked by Ares' scheme of looking like going out of the class. Ares pretended to be caught and scratched his head.

"Go back to where you're seated." Hestia said in a strict voice. Ares merely shrugged with a half smirk and jolly walked towards Dionysus and Apollo, who gave him a hi-five while whispering "idiot."

"You must be Ares?" Hestia asked, looking at Ares while holding the ends of the scroll with both hands. Ares raised a hand and smiled.

Hestia turned to the others, "as well as Artemis—Dionysus—Apollo—Oh, Pan! Stop placing mirrors below the ladies' gowns!—Aphrodite?"

Aphrodite nodded her head gently with grace and poise, making the other ladies whisper how her hair was braided beautifully. Ares slapped Apollo's cheek after noticing him drooling on his hand. "Gross…" Ares scoffed. "What? She's like heaven and earth combined. Fairly weaved skin trapped in nectar's scent," Apollo sighed in floating voice. Dionysus rolled his eyes, "poetic corniness…"

"we also havvvvve—Selene and Eos—where's your brother Helios?" Hestia asked. Selene pointed her finger up, "on-duty, madame. He said he'll attend the night classes…"

"Oh well, and ahh—Athena, how are you?"

Athena smiled shyly. Ares suddenly looked around upon hearing the name of his formidable enemy. He whispered to Apollo, "where is _he_?"

"She." Apollo corrected as he pointed to behind them. Ares slowly turned his head to catch a glimpse of her. He did, noticing her loose clothes and her hair tied to a bun behind her head, making her look like a pretty boy. He was suddenly intimidated by her raised eyebrow with a whispering threat, "whatcha lookin' at, PUNK?"

Ares glared, "Sissy,"

"Tubby…"

"Tomboy…"

"JACKASS."

"What did you just call me!" Ares yelled with fists up.

"ARES! Behave!" Hestia called his attention. Ares forgot where he was, and sighed to calm himself down. In the corner of his eye, he saw Athena cover her mouth in a silent laughter. Aphrodite's eyebrows suddenly flicked at the sight of Ares. Hestia continued, "I see you want to talk huh? Hmmm let's see, can you please differentiate a house from a home?"

Ares thought deeply before answering, "A house is…a…the building. Like where we are now. It is physical. While the home is what's occurring inside that building."

Hestia's face lightened, "Oh—very well Ares, thank you. How about the others? Yes, Athena, it seems you're thinking very deeply, would you like to share it?"

With this Ares looked mockingly at Athena with a sarcastic smile, hoping to humiliate her. Athena sighed and spoke in a calm manner, "Well… a house is built for a home. Within the house is the warm presence of people who render love, repect, and care to each other. It is a haven for both pleasure and happiness, and it includes the basic component of a state which is the family—a group of people united at heart and one in soul. And all of these are protected by the pillars of a house. Every brick and stone form the best walls to make happiness within it possible,"

There was only silence, and Aphrodite sighed with awe and palms clasped together, "that was lovely,"

Hestia gave a warm smile, "That was very well described Athena, thank you,"

"Duh… he just made everything complicated! My definition was more mechanical," Ares commented bitterly with crossed arms. He glared at Athena who stuck her tongue out in mockery.

Hestia's brows met, "I didn't say you were wrong, Ares. It's just a matter of how one is going to state one's own thoughts."

Ares merely pouted and rolled a pinky on his ear. Athena leaned forward, enough to give a whisper:

"LOOOO-SERRRR…"

* * *

_2 weeks later…_

* * *

"Pan's at it again!" Aphrodite screamed as she kicked the mirror lying between her ankles. Artemis thought of an idea and grabbed Pan by the very long ear. Pan grunted and Artemis comforted him, "Awww don't worry Mr. Goat legs, I'll be gentle. I just needed something to practice on,"

_Munites later…_

"What is happening here!"

Everyone stopped with the riot and turned to their new mentor, Hephaestus. He limped in one leg but was rather strong enough to carry himself.

"Who did this?" Hephaestus asked, pointing at a curled Pan high on the wall with arrows and spears stuck anywhere beside him. Everyone pointed at Artemis and Ares, who just shrugged.

"Well, he was into his maniac mood again and I just decided to turn him into a dart board…" Artemis shyly spoke with her point fingers meeting. Ares held his spear and suddenly hurled it into the 'dart board', hitting the spot just above Pan's head. Hephaestus' frown slowly turned into a smile, "well if he bothers you, then do whatever you like!" he laughed and let them turn into wild animals inside his forge as he whistled and began to lit the cinders where the unfinished swords lay.

Moments later, Hermes came in to stop the entire ruckus and released Pan, reminding all the others that Demeter is already waiting at the holy fields. The young gods bid farewell to Hephaestus, but Ares, who went out of the forge last, saw Hephaestus' fire blower in a form of a mallet half his size. Hephaestus was rather busy turning his back at Ares while dipping lava-red metals on the water, releasing the cruel hissing sound.

Ares slowly touched the giant mallet, rather unsure if he can carry it. But the moment he laid a finger on it, it began to contract and transformed into a smaller version enough to fit Ares' amateur strength. He grabbed it by a hand and whistled as he went out of the forge.

* * *

(_Demeter's fields_)

* * *

"What took you so long?" Dionysus asked Ares with a raised brow. Ares smirked as he held the mallet in his hand.

"Oh, you spent your time looking for a hammer?" Apollo squeezed his eyes between Ares' and Dionysus' shoulders. "It's not a hammer, idiot." Ares glared, "this is Hephaestus' own weapon, forged at the deepest part of Tartarus where the fire river flows…" he flipped it with both hands, scanning each part.

"Anything wrong there, boys?" Demeter's loud yet motherly voice interrupted. Ares immediately hid the mallet behind him and, together with his two companions, shook their heads with an embarrassed smile. Demeter shrugged her shoulders and continued discussing about crops, root crops, potatoes, sweet potatoes, corn, young corn, sweet corn, maize (corn), etc.

Ares heaved a sigh of relief and took his hands from behind him but to his shock, the mallet was missing from his grip.

"Oh CROP! Where's the weapon?" he asked Apollo and Dionysus with a loud panicking whisper. Both looked around but found none.

"I think I've got someone grounded for stealing private property…"

The three looked behind to see Athena with a sadistic face, holding the mallet like a baby on her chest. Ares gave her a dagger look and held out a hand, "give it. NOW."

"Na-ah…" Athena shook her point finger in front of his eyes, "I'm returning this and you will have to stop taking things that are not yours, klepto."

"What! Hey hey who took my sword before huh?" Ares snapped, fingers curling to form a fist. He was ready to blow like Mt. Vitruvius. "I'm giving you one last time to give it, man-woman person!"

Athena's ears twitched, "Asshole! It wasn't my fault that the Cyclops turned your sword into a toothpick! And I'm a female!"

"Uhh guys? They're leaving us…" Apollo reminded the cat and dog growling, pointing at the other students who were taking a tour around Demeter's holy fields. He heard no response, and was rather freaked out by the smoke coming from their noses. He grabbed Dionysus by the collar and ran from them.

"Did you just call me asshole! You person-with-two-sexes!" Ares growled.

"Get your ears cleaned, retarded psycho!" Athena responded with gritted teeth, and threw the mallet at Ares, who dodged. Ares lunged at her with both fists but Athena caught his wrists and was about to slap him when they heard something that ticked and moved. Their eyes went wide when they saw the mallet transform once more into its giant size. Its handle stood to the ground and the flat edge of the head became hallow with a hole. The hole faced both of them and it was big enough to let Eros in (according to Athena's wise calculation).

"Would you please check that out?" Athena whispered. Ares scoffed and took pride to himself, "Heh, now you better recognize I'm a lot tougher that you, she-male." He took a step to peep inside the hole, and suddenly saw a bright red color flame from within. Athena shivered, "Get away from there,"

Ares' eyebrows met in curiosity as the red color grew bigger.

"!"

Demeter and the others looked behind to see who made the scream. Her eyes grew wide with panic, "Oh dear! Help!" she waved her hands. The ladies screamed at the sight of Ares and Athena running together deeper within the fields with a fire blowing on them.

"STOP'ET STOP'ET STOP'EEEEEET!" Athena screamed while holding on to Ares's cape, droplets of tears on the edge of her angry eyes.

"IT'S ON SELF-DETONATION; I DON'T KNOW HOW TO MAKE IT STOP!" Ares yelled back as he jumped while the fire blower spewed below them.

Dionysus slapped his cheek, "Oh maaaaan, when will they ever stop making such a fuss?"

Demeter covered her face, seeing the fields set ablaze, all her hard work turn to ash.

"This is all your fault!" Athena punched Ares by the arm after wiping her face with a wet towel. The towel turned black from the ash.

"Ow!" Ares complained, putting a bag of ice on the burnt part of his hand.

Hermes came to escort them towards Zeus' court. He was rather backed from the sight of the two. "Oh," he covered his nose from the burning smell and pinched the tiny flame dancing on a part of Ares' rough hair. Athena dusted her tunic and knees, up to her coiled hair behind her head. Ares merely wiped his face with a hand, rather spreading the ash on his nose. "Uhh..let me guess…" Hermes interrupted, "This is a sunbathing turned bad? HAHAHAHA!"

The two glared at him, and he finally forked his tongue with an apologetic look. Ares turned to Athena, "If only you just gave it to me, this wouldn't have happened!"

"And do you know that if it drops, it will turn into a fire blower?" Athena asked, leaning her face forward with a hand on her hips.

"Ok ok, stop that now, your father's waiting for you," Hermes snapped a finger and escorted the two towards the large doors with a big DO NOT DISTURB sign. The messenger knocked twice, and the door opened. He then signaled the two to enter. Ares and Athena looked at each other, trying to bet who will enter first. Athena sighed and entered, followed by her brother behind. Hermes closed the door without entering.

Athena cleared her throat, "Um…dad?"

"Oh, oh you're here," Zeus' big gruff voice answered below the large square table. He finally popped out with nothing but white loins around his waist like diapers, spreading his arms, "TADAAA!"

Ares' eye twitched and he faced his back on Zeus, slightly banging his head on the door. Athena pretended to be surprised, "Ahhh… Wh-what (the heck) is that for?"

Zeus hardened his muscles in both arms and poised like a body builder, "Whatd'ya think huh? Just a little more bump on my butt," he turned to pinch his buttocks. "I need the perfect look when my wife returns, you know," he gave a flirty look at his daughter.

"You look fat," Ares grumbled.

Zeus looked at him, "What?"

"He meant you look fabulous!" Athena interrupted and nudged Ares by the elbow with a threatening whisper, "You wanna fry us with thunderbolts!"

Ares could only roll his eyes and cross his arms while leaning his back on a wall. Athena faced Zeus, "So…you called for us?"

Zeus turned his eyes above and suddenly raised his point finger, "Oh yes, sit." He snapped fingers and two cloud chairs appeared. His children sat and he also took a couple of scrolls. "Hermes!"

Hermes entered the room and bowed, "Your highness."

"Get me a cheeseburger," Zeus ordered, "I want it with fries!"

Hermes nodded and flew away, after which Zeus proceeded with his discussion, "So, I see you two are enjoying each other's company veeeery much. Let me see, a week ago, you knocked over my monument and set a domino which crashed all the gods' monuments…five days ago, while taking a tour with the class on the sea, you sank a ship. Three days ago, you crashed my wife's birthday party…and now? You burned our field…and Hephaestus is crushed to see his weapon break into pieces."

Ares and Athena bowed their heads, and waited for their father's next words.

"So I decided to ground you."

"What! No way dad, it's always this she-man's fault! You see, she/he/whatever always meddle with my affairs!" Ares stood. Athena stood after him and pointed at his nose, "Shut it, you man-child and grow half a brain! Those 'affairs' are too dangerous!"

"Why do you have to care, you jealous freak!"

"Who you calling jealous, fathead!"

"ENOUGH!" Zeus thundered and the whole sky darkened. Athena and Ares stopped bickering and sat until Zeus calmed down. He cleared his throat, "With this I will make you temporary mortals."

* * *

_To be cont._


	3. Chapter 2 Part 2: Rivals

"Aw daaaaad…" Athena covered her ears.

"You will be placed down there for a while, and unless you find a chance to help each other, you will NEVER be welcomed here in Olympus anymore and not be able to take back the privileges of godship. Are we clear?" Zeus ordered.

"But—"

"Are we clear?"

Ares sighed and glared somewhere. Athena just bowed her head and nodded. Zeus smiled, "Alright, don't worry, we'll be watching over you."

Hermes finally entered with the cheeseburger and fries and placed them on Zeus' table.

"Hermes, I need you to prepare them for their punishment."

"My chariot is ready, Ma'Lord." Hermes smirked at the siblings, watching Ares cut his throat with his point finger. The siblings stood and exited through the door. Zeus turned to Hermes with mouth full of the burger, "What did my brother say?"

Hermes gave a thumbs up and Zeus smiled. The messenger then went out to catch up with the two.

"Some over righteous pig sends me to earth. What a plastic." Ares grumbled.

"Hey! Will you stop disrespecting our father? You're one psychotic jackass who can't even be grateful we weren't banished from here." Athena pushed her brother. Ares smiled mockingly and met her eyes, "Easy talk for a favorite child," and proceeded to walk ahead with bitterness in every action.

"What favo—" Athena was stopped with a hand that touched her shoulder from behind. She turned to see Hermes' concerned eyes. He merely shook his head and touched Athena's lips to prevent her from talking. "Let's just go," he told her and walked ahead to his waiting chariot. Athena was left behind, wondering what Ares' problem was.

"Ahhh… Village life isn't boring after all," Ares stretched his arms, his sister by his side. They were walking among the public squares and were heading towards the market. He took an apple from a basket and left.

"Hey! Pay that up!" The vendor shouted, and saw Athena whom he knew was with Ares. Athena sighed with irritation and gave the vendor the right price. She caught up with Ares and hit him in the head which made the bitten apple roll down.

"Ow! Now what!" Ares stomped his foot as he confronted the other. Athena slapped him, "Don't you ever do that again, shit head! You owe me!" and walked away from him with heavy steps. Ares glared at her back venomously and shouted, "Fine! You go your way! Let's see who comes looking for me later! SHE-MAN!"

Athena turned and stuck her tongue out. Ares turned his back at him and walked a different way, grumbling, "Hmpf. Stupid jerk, she should've known better…I won't look for her, she'll have to say sorry before I go back to her again…"

Suddenly, a loud explosion was heard behind him. He turned to see through the smoke a shadow of a giant creature. His eyes turned wide and ran towards the chaotic spot, "Athena!" He shoved his way through the people running opposite his direction. He kept calling for his sister and finally found her frozen, looking up at the attacker.

It was gigantic. Its three heads looked everywhere for anything to devour. It raised its giant paw and struck the stone floors of the market. The dust flew and blurred anyone's vision. Ares can see its bloody red eyes through the cloud of dust and smoke. The dog heads spewed out venomous breaths which can poison anyone who might have taken it in. The god has seen this beast sometime ago, and was yet afraid of it from his young age.

"Athena! Get out of there, scum bag!" He shouted at her. She seemed to wake up from a dream and ran towards Ares' stretched hand. They were yet about to run when a woman came and called out to her missing child, "Diana!"

Athena turned and saw the small girl trapped in a net. She was crying to her mother who was trying her hard to run to her. The girl was just behind Cerberus, and it heard the terrified cries. Athena stopped, which made Ares pause and pull her, "What are you stopping for! Come on! We don't have any weapons now!"

But he saw in her grey eyes a little flick of courage which silenced him. She held his hand and in a calm voice, told him, "Go on, I have to save the girl… I won't bear to see a mother lose a child,"

"Athena!" Ares yelled when she ran towards Cerberus. The dog was about to crush the little girl when Athena threw a small rock at one of the heads, "Here!" she waved her hands and Cerberus charged at her. She was yet too young to be into a war, but despite terrified eyes, she stood her ground and planned to slip under the dog when it charges at her. As Cerberus neared, she was rather petrified. Her eyes grew wide at the giant fangs about to gobble her up. She screamed and closed her eyes but opened them to see chains that wrapped around the head's snout.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE! GET THE GIRL!" Ares shouted from his post meters away from her. His arms held chains which pulled the center head of Cerberus. Athena slipped under the monster and leaped to wrap the small girl in her arms, untangling her from the nets. She then thought of an idea through the nets and carried whatever her arms can, along with the toddler. She ran towards the waiting mother who took the girl. The mother never had a chance to say thank you for when she was about to talk, Athena had left.

"Ares!" she shouted, "Let it go!"

Ares did so and grabbed the edge of the net which Athena threw, holding the opposite edges of the same net. Both wrapped the heads and trapped it in midair, making Cerberus unable to see and it struggled under the net. Ares then grabbed the same chains and Athena to the other end. They looked at each other and nodded before running towards the forefeet of Cerberus and tied it. Cerberus whimpered and lost balance, which eventually made him slowly fall.

"Get out of there, stupid!" Ares yelled, noticing Athena unconscious that one of the heads was about to fall upon her. He swiftly grabbed her and a loud crash was heard when Cerberus fell. The smoke cleared and Athena coughed. Her dark hair was released from being bound, flowing until her felt rather dizzy from the struggle and tried to reconcile what happened. Her eyes grew wide, finally realizing someone was missing.

"Ares! Ares where are you!"

"You're sitting on my face…"

Athena looked down and saw Ares' crushed face below her. She nearly broke into tears when she saw his left arm squeezed by one of Cerberus' heads. She touched the arm but Ares winced in pain.

"Get off,"

Hermes touched Ares' arm this time with a glowing light, and lifted Cerberus' head as if it was only made out of feather pillows. "Aw you suck…you're late!" Ares cursed him, who just smiled. A black smoke suddenly surrounded Cerberus and it grew thicker and thicker until it consumed the monster. When everything cleared, Cerberus was no longer there. The only things left were the chains and net. Athena patted Ares' hair, and a tear fell from her eye to his cheek. He opened his eyes and stuck his tongue out before speaking in a weak voice, "I told you you'd need my help sooner…"

"Asshole…" Athena smiled despite tears and helped him lie on a cot. The people around them clapped at their success, but Hermes flicked his fingers and everything was returned to normal order, the same flick also made them disappear from the mortal grounds and was returned to Olympus safe and sound.

Below the earth where everything is dark and gloomy, Hades sighed, patting Cerberus' wounded paws. His black eyes scanned the scratches on his guardian. He turned his head left and right to make sure no one was watching him, most especially his new queen. He then pinched Cerberus' paw and cutely patted the dog, "Awww my poor poor little baby… don't worry, daddy's gonna take care of you…" He clicked his tongue to soothe his pet.

"That…sucks brother, I never thought you have deep dark secrets on your own…"

"Wh-what? Whatchu talking about!" Hades turned and saw his younger brother Zeus who was smirking like…hell.

"Stop that look and just heal him!" Hades placed his hands on his hips and shot dagger looks at Zeus. Zeus shrugged and walked towards Cerberus lying on the flat stone bed. His hand glowed yellow and touched a whimpering Cerberus. The whimpers softened into normal breaths until the light disappeared.

"That should do," Zeus commented, turning to Hades, "let him rest the whole night, and everything will be okay,"

Hades sighed relief, "So, it turned well? This plan of yours?"

"Heh…you think my plans fail?" Zeus raised a brow.

"Don't you ever ask me these favors again, it gives me the heart attacks! And I'm still in my honeymoon remember?" Hades bickered. Zeus rolled his eyes, "What a looooong honeymoon. Anyway, what about some night-out?" he smirked once more.

Hades narrowed his eyes, "You're too old to go party-party, ass."

"Aw c'mon, we haven't gollywaddled since we all married! No wife will ever know, hehehehe" Zeus answered. Hades sighed and stuck his pinky, "You swear?"

Zeus twisted his pinky on Hades' and nodded, "We need to call the sea urchin,"

Hades' eyes lighted up, "Oh yeah! KNOCK KNOCK!"

"Who's There!"

"ITS…PUSSY!"

"PUSSY WHO!"

"PUSS-SEIDON! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"GAHAHAHAHA!"

"Very funny, chicken shits."

The two turned and saw a familiar god with ocean blue robes and dark azure eyes glaring at them, "Hades, you want me to tell your wife how you wet the beds before you married?"

Zeus gulped and the three stared at each other, the edges of their lips turning into a smile before opening up and they all fell into embrace.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Excuse me?"

All turned to a pale transparent male soul behind them, waiting to be enlisted on the land of the dead. Hades excused himself from his brothers and talked to the soul, "what happened, young man? You were sick?"

"I got hit by a boulder," the soul replied, scratching his head which he obviously cannot touch.

"What! Where'd the boulder come from?"

"Well… while you were laughing, we were having an earthquake above…"

Poseidon slapped his face apologetically as Zeus sighed.

* * *

Ares breathed in the warm sunset breeze. He stood at the edge of the Olympian gardens, eyes fixed upon the magnificent sinking of the sun set against a background of dark pink skies.

"Enjoying the solitude…?"

He turned his head to see Athena walking up to stand beside him and both stared at the setting sun. She lowered her lashes and caused her head to face her brother, "Thank you…for saving me." She looked at him who never faced her. She noticed the white cloth which was tied on his shoulder, carrying his left arm to his chest. He sighed, "Yeah…that was the dumbest thing I ever did,"

Athena looked away, bitterness crawling up to her face but she remained silent. Ares smiled and stared at her, "Nah… just kidding,"

Their eyes met; hers with surprise and his with a little spice of concern.

"Half my blood runs through you," Ares finally spoke after the awkward silence, "I won't let anyone hurt you though…except me,"

She smiled warmly amid the soft breeze which played through the soft locks of her hair which Ares gazed at for a moment before turning on his heels to leave. She watched him take two steps away from her and he suddenly stopped, searching something from the folds in his garbs. Ares turned to her and handed something long and sparkling with glitters, "Here,"

"Where'd you find that?" Athena asked surprisingly as she took the hair clip from his hand.

"Below. Must've fallen during the struggle…" Ares plainly answered and looked at her in the eye, "by the way, I'd prefer to see you have your hair down; at least it convinces me you're a female,"

She rolled her eyes with a half-smile, "You still can't get ov—"

"You're quite beautiful,"

Athena paused, unsure if she heard Ares' murmur right. "Excuse me?"

He lowered his head, faintly smiling, "I'll keep it to myself," and looked at her once more with a silent farewell as he continued to leave. She felt herself flush slightly and watched him slowly disappear… while running a hand on her dark almond hair.

* * *

_To be cont._


	4. Chapter 3 Part1: The Three Divine Idiots

**A/N:** Just got back from asthma (huhuhu…) please don't expect much humor this time, I didn't get to concentrate much. (And the jellybeans ran away…)

* * *

**CHAPTER 3**

**-THE THREE DIVINE IDIOTS-**

* * *

Apollo wiped his face from the steam coming from the pool and brought out a sigh of relaxation. The water felt great, most especially after waking up in such a cold morning. He was alone at the bath house, not until a grumpy Ares entered with reddening eye bags and a rough hair. He shook his head to get rid of another hang over, with torso naked and a towel covering his lower portion. He gruffly yawned and with eyes half-opened, headed towards where Apollo was.

"Rough night eh?" Apollo asked, running a hand through his golden hair. Ares dipped himself on the water while taking a few seconds before ingesting what his friend asked. After which he answered, "I guess. That darn red head left me passed outon the roof."

Apollo chuckled, smelling the spirits left in Ares' breath, and after gaining a few images in his head, asked, "Where's he anyway?"

"Who knows?" Ares asked as he yawned once more, stretching his arms on the edge of the sauna and closed his eyes with face up. Apollo sighed and stood.

"I'm checkin' on him," the soon-to-be sun god spoke while wrapping himself with a towel.

"g'OeRd…"

"What?"

"aY sHd g'OerD…"

"WHAT?"

"I SHED GO'AHED!" Ares forced himself to speak properly with a shout and finally got lost in sleepy-headedness. Apollo twitched and sighed, finally leaving the bath house, praying that Ares won't drown himself.

* * *

"I say your brew gets better by the years, Dionysus," Poseidon patted Dionysus' back while putting the goblet down. The young god sighed relief, moving his muscles which was already stiff from nervousness at the test. Poseidon was among the gods who would try his skill in wine brewing and fermentation.

"Thank you…uncle," Dionysus responded, still wiping the sweat on his brown. Poseidon smiled proudly and headed towards the exit of the brewery with his trident, "I'll report this happily to your father,"

Dionysus thanked his uncle once more, and joined the sea god to exit, urging him to taste more of the blessed wine but Poseidon refused, saying, "I have subjects praying to me for protection, they will sail."

"Who are they?" Dionysus asked, following his uncle. They stopped at a small bridge which connects the brewery to the other buildings of Olympus. Below them the clouds floated in serenity, the bright morning sun starting to shoot its rays and conquer the land.

Poseidon cleared the clouds below them and showed the miniature Greece below them. They focused on the island of Crete, and Poseidon pointed at a trade ship ready to sail, "That is Crete…and its king, Minos. They are ready to aboard to trade in nearby Persia,"

The sea god looked at Dionysus who seemed enthralled. "Niece?" he asked the frozen young god. Dionysus woke up from the startling voice of his uncle.

"Are you alright?"

Dionysus nodded, returning his eyes below and asked in a soft voice-like murmur, "is that the king's wife…?"

"You mean Ariadne?" Poseidon asked after looking at the woman whom Dionysus was asking about. He laughed, "That's his daughter, his princess. Why?" he asked teasingly.

Dionysus traced the name on his lips, "Ariadne…"

"Dionysus!"

Both turned to see Apollo coming. He suddenly stopped at the sight of his uncle, "Uncle Pussy! Erm—Poseidon!"

Poseidon glared at him as if Apollo had asked for both of his kidneys. He sighed, forgiving his other niece, "If I had more time, I'd throw you to the Kraken, but I don't. So I have to go,"

Dionysus bid farewell, and they watched their uncle envelop in blue fumes until he disappeared. Apollo then approached Dionysus, "Hey, we missed you at the pool, what was that about?" he waited for an answer but only caught a glimpse of Dionysus' unresponsive eyes. Apollo looked down to follow what the other one was looking at, and his eyes widened.

"Ariadne!"

Dionysus suddenly looked at him, "You know her?"

"I had a crush on her. Ha-ha" Apollo jested, but Dionysus merely looked at him, red hued eyes mesmerized and wondering. Apollo was rather timid at the stare and panicked, "I mean, before! That was before!"

It was then that Dionysus calmed. Apollo sighed out relief, "You like her…?" but he received to reply. Rather, Dionysus yawned with droplets on the edges of his eyes, "I'm sleepy…that darn Ares dragged me till 4am, that ass." He then bid, "I think I need some rest,"

Apollo chuckled, "I guess too. Your eye bags look hilarious."

Dionysus rubbed his eyes and left, leaving Apollo with a smirk, thinking about an idea which Ares can be able to do.

* * *

"YOU FRIGGIN FATHER OF IMPOTENT BALLS, I TOLD YOU NOT—NOT!—TO MESS WITH ME!" Athena screamed between gritted teeth as she twisted Ares' left ear. They were coming out of the kitchen doors.

"O-ow!" Ares whimpered, rubbing his reddening ear and confronted Athena, "What'd I do!"

"YOU ATE MY PROJECT, YOU DISGUSTING MORON!" Athena shouted with eyes flaring up. Ares looked at her skeptically, "That was your project? I thought that was your experiment-gone-bad…OUCH!"

Athena crossed her arms after hitting Ares on the head with her elbow, "You will replace that, no matter what!" she scoffed, "next time Hestia find you hiding under my table, I won't be saving your ass!" She sighed out of desperation, thinking about her pastry. It was a class this time only for female deities, to be trained by Hestia on kitchen works. She would've submitted her work not until she found it missing and saw Ares' boot beneath the table cloth and bread crumbs falling.

"You know the cinnamon was fine, but you coulda add more sugar to the cream puffs," Ares commented, fore finger curled under his chin, magically weaving words which Athena's pride cannot possess. She covered her ears and shut her eyes tightly.

"I will NEVER listen to anything you have to say!" (emphasis on the NEVER)

"Heeeeh?" Ares peered through her shut eyes. She turned her back on his doggish smile. Ares flipped the soft dark curls of her hair, and she felt it bounce.

"Then why'd you let your hair down this time for all of a sudden?" his voice hinted a little consciousness in her. She turned her face away, feeling the butterflies on her stomach and trying hard not to flush.

Ares still managed to look at her face despite how hard she tries to stay away from him. He pointed at her cheeks, "are you blushing…?"

Athena's eyes flew open and kicked Ares straight in his nut.

"HOLY MOTHER! YOU JUST SQUISHED MY BABY MAKER!" Ares twisted and bent, both hands putting pressure on his groin. His knees trembled and Athena was satisfied at the look of his purple face, laughing like a devil.

"Will you two stop fighting and do something worthwhile for once?"

Athena turned to see Apollo walking towards them, sighing. He held Ares up and whispered, "Oh my… that's gonna take a long time to heal."

"You bet…" Ares grunted, trembling as he straightened up.

"Anything you need?" Athena asked Apollo, trying to alter the conversation. Apollo paused for a mean time, and turned to Ares, "I need you to do something…"

Ares scratched his head, "If it involves women then sure,"

Athena's ears twitched and glared at Apollo, "I'm coming."

"After squishing the joy of my life, you won't." Ares grunted.

"After eating my project, I'm coming."

"Are you jealous?"

**-whapack!-**

"That's enough…" Apollo sighed, "Ares, I need you to go down…at the sea,"

"What!" Ares woke up from passing out, "You serious!"

"I know it's a little difficult but…you see…there's this ship bound to Persia,"

"What's in it? Gold? Porcelain?"

"No, not really. Never mind the trade, I want you to focus on the people in it,"

"Who? Women? Kings? Slaves?"

"There's this king's daughter…"

"She's trapped? Bound? Sold?"

"Will you stop interrupting!"

"Okay…..so…is she pretty?"

Apollo sighed and pinched his temples and Athena smacked Ares' nose.

"So, what's with the princess?" Athena asked curiously.

"Dionysus has a thing for her…" Apollo replied.

"What!" Ares held Apollo's shoulders, "Our baby's a big boy! He's having crushes now!"

Athena was weirded out and shook her head. Apollo looked bitterly at Ares to make him shut up.

"Seriously," Apollo glared, "Can you two find a way for her to lose something? You know, something which she will _really_ look for?"

Athena thought of something, "What abou—"

"I think I'll meet up with you again…later…again…" Apollo interrupted when he saw the kitchen opening, "and I also need to find Hermes,"

Athena looked at the direction where Apollo was looking at. Aphrodite. She passed by them, dainty fingers running through her perfumed golden hair, and Apollo took a step to follow her where they got lost at the turn of the hall.

* * *

"Dionysus!" Hermes called out. Dionysus has just taken a walk after waking up from a gentle nap to ease his heavy eyes from the hang over drinking sprees with Ares till the dawn. He looked at Hermes bound for his messenger duties, about to leave to perform his job. Dionysus smiled, "Where you up to? – erm I mean, DOWN to?"

Hermes chuckled, "none of your business, kid. But I heard you passed Poseidon's tastes…I'd like to commend you," he bowed in respect. Dionysus shrugged but thanked the messenger god. Hermes was about to leave when a scroll fell from his sling bag. He turned to pick it up but Dionysus had already placed his fingers on it.

"Oops, sorry 'bout that," Hermes apologized, putting out his hand for Dionysus to hand him over the dropped scroll. Dionysus was about to give it to Hermes, but something caught his attention on it.

"For Ariadne…" Dionysus' brows furrowed, reading the inscriptions written on the edge of the ribbon used to ties the scroll. He looked at Hermes, "Who gave this to you?"

Hermes shrugged, "Golden scroll, glittered edges, pretty romantic for a love letter… you know the only one who can be able to do that. Hm, lucky girl."

Dionysus nodded slowly, thoughts and questions etching in his mind. His mouth was half opened in both wonder and dismay, feeling either disappointment or anger.

"You okay?" Hermes called his attention. Dionysus looked at him with a fake smile and the messenger tapped his back to bid farewell. The wine god bit his lip and heavily sighed; turning his heels to whomever sent the letter to Ariadne. Ready to confront.

* * *

Apollo sat by the edge of the garden, sighing. He scratched his head and looked around anxiously. _What is taking them so long?_ His eyes revealed heavy concern, waiting for Ares and Athena to return. The sun was ready to drown itself in the vast space of clouds set against a fiery orange horizon. He walked around, trying to ease the burden of worries, thinking over if he would try to check on them.

_I think I have to tell Zeus…_

Half his brain wondered. He bit his nails. But his ego fought back.

_Not yet, they're fine. They're fine._

He shut his eyes in deep exasperation, thinking how deadly the punishment of Zeus would be, especially when it comes to _his favorite_ daughter set in danger.

_O craaaaap._

"Worrying about rejection?"

Apollo's mind cleared, hearing the voice of Dionysus not far. Their eyes met, but there was a distinct conflict in Dionysus' aura which chilled Apollo's spine.

"Dionysus… what rejection?" Apollo asked with a little stammer, mind confused and lips cold. The other faked a chuckle, and Apollo can sense the sarcasm in his actions.

"Well you don't need to worry, Apollo. You will surely win her anyway," Dionysus scoffed, making Apollo's eyebrows meet, "what are you talking about?"

"What I'm talking about is 'congratulations! You won against me!' well you will always win. Among the three of us, I'm always last. I always get the leftovers from the buffet,"

Apollo sighed, "Dio—"

"You think I didn't know you sent a letter to Ariadne?"

"What!" Apollo's eyes widened, "How…"

"She must be really thrilled to read it. You're this gorgeous blondie and I'm this nerdy barrel, of course she would pick you!" Dionysus waved his arms and sighed.

"You're misunder—"

"Yeah, yeah, say that again. Why, Apollo? Why her? You've always been—you two with Ares—_always_ been treating me like a nobody, like I'm not your brother…"

"Listen—"

"No! You listen. This time YOU listen! This time I get to talk! This time I get to say anything I want! I've always endured your treatment for other personal affairs, when Ares steals my wine, or you drag me to anywhere you want to go, I didn't care! But right now, I can't accept this betrayal… Why Ariadne? You can have anyone you want! Is it because you knew I like her?" Dionysus shot directly, unable to hide the beads of tears forming on the corners of his eyes.

Apollo was a little stung with the words he never expected to come out from his friend, he charged back, "I am not checking out on Ariadne!"

"Then what! You get her attention? And prove to me you can _steal_ anyone from me?"

"I'm stealing nobody," Apollo shook his head, briefly disappointed at how narrow-minded Dionysus can be.

"Apollo! We made it!" Athena stepped in on the scene with bright eyes. She noticed the heated confusion encircling the two. With furrowed eyes, she asked, "What's going on here?"

"What's going on here is I'm quitting your company," Dionysus scoffed and took a step to leave. Apollo jerked forward to catch up on him, "Wai-!"

"Ariadne's pretty hot, Apollo!" Ares came tailing after Athena, unmindful of the argument occurring, and like his half sister he stood stoned and innocently watched.

Dionysus shot a glare at Ares and Apollo slowly closed his eyes and sighed.

"Heyyy Dionysus!" Ares waved but received neither a smile nor a blink.

"I see, you're in this together? Great! The thief and his sidekick." Dionysus pointed at Ares and Apollo, "You don't have to stab me at the back. You've already won, but I hope you burn,"

"Dino!" Apollo suddenly blurted out. Ares slapped his forehead. Athena merely looked at them. "No, you didn't…" Ares murmured.

Dionysus gritted his teeth and was about to punch Apollo but stopped his fist on mid air. He sighed heavily and furiously walked away, his right shoulder hitting Athena's left. Athena was pushed to Ares, who caught her.

"Apollo you can't call him DINO." Ares sighed.

Apollo bit his lower lip, "my bad…"

"What's with 'Dino'?" Athena asked, slapping Ares' hand on her shoulder. Ares annoyingly looked at her and stepped away, "We used to tease him Dino when we were kids…and he didn't quite like it though."

"But I like it. It's cute," Athena smiled.

"Yeah, of course we do. But he doesn't like it. I think he prefer being call shit head than Dino," Apollo sighed.

"So what'r we gonna do…?" Ares asked, profusely puzzled.

"I'll see. So what took you so long?" Apollo asked to push the thoughts of Dionysus from his mind.

* * *

_To be cont._

_**~AthenAres~**  
_

**A/N:  
**Reviews? =)


	5. Chapter 3 Part2: The Three Divine Idiots

_Why does everyone search him from me?_

Athena walked briskly at the darkened halls, carrying an annoyed pair of grey eyes, looking for Ares. She searched from public chambers to gardens and verandas, but there was no sign that Ares had been there. Finally she opened the arts room and squeezed her head in to see if she was interrupting someone.

"Apollo?"

She asked in a soft voice, catching the sight of a familiar golden haired god sitting on the ceiling-high windows which lead to the empty space out of Olympus, glittered with stars. Apollo turned his head to her, seeing her walking towards him. He gave a faint smile, "Yes?"

"Have you seen Ares anywhere?" she politely asked. "His mother is looking for him,"

Apollo thought for a while, and shook his head, "Not that I remember,"

Athena sighed with tragic disappointment. She leaned her back against the wall and turned her head to Apollo, "And you?" she inquired, "Still troubled by Dionysus'—Dino's behavior?"

Apollo likely withered, but he faintly smiled and shook his lowered head, "Nah, we can fix that… its just that…" he looked at Athena, searching for any valid reason to let her know what he is going through. Her grey eyes seemed to pat him in the head, they looked adorable. And Apollo finally let the words go, "I confessed lately,"

"Ah…" Athena's eyes brightened and she smirked, "Aphrodite right?"

"How'd you know?" Apollo asked, brows furrowing. Athena just shrugged, "never mind, so how did it go?"

This time, Apollo's heart seemed to sink but he managed to answer, "I look sad right now, what do you think?"

The grey pools in Athena's eyes faded as she lowered her lashes and turned her head away from him, "I-I'm sorry,"

Apollo chuckled, "Well, anything goes. She said she likes someone else. Who would like me anyway? Ouch!" he held his head. Athena glared at him after pulling his hair. The pout on her lips suddenly curved into a comforting smile, and her eyes looked at him with deep concern. This time Apollo got lost at the glimpse of her beautiful grey eyes, and noticed how charmingly pink her thin lips were.

"What are you talking about, Apollo?" she jeered at him with wondrous smile, "Anyone girl would be lucky to have you,"

Apollo blinked twice. The moonlight fell upon the contours of her beautifully shaped eyebrows, and reflected the silver color on her eyes which seemed to illuminate brighter than fire. He was rather appalled that she had an angelic voice which he had, for the first time, heard.

"Hey,"

Apollo's eyes moved from startling. He opened his lips to talk, "Uh…you think so?"

Athena pinched his cheek, and he felt how dainty they were. "I know so,"

She moved away from him and yawned, "If you see Ares, can you just please tell him that the queen demands for his head?"

"Sure," Apollo answered calmly despite the different feeling he was being stung from within. He watched her graceful moves as she led herself towards the door and closed it behind her. He sighed and smiled to himself. _Suddenly the rainbow shows up after all…_

/*/

Ares walked down the isle, this time looking for Apollo. Morning has passed, and he began to wonder where the heck is Apollo sticking his nose into. He decided to leave Athena for a while after kicking his ass about some dirty joke he told her concerning her two front pillows. He finally caught sight of the arts room unlocked. He stood for a moment to sense if there was movement inside, or to at least peek at someone making out. He peeped, and saw someone reclining at the window pane. Finally entering, Ares seized the sleeping Apollo.

"APOLLOOOOO!" he screamed at Apollo's ear. The sleeping god suddenly fell with his face on the floor after the startling alarm. Ares was towering over him. Apollo scratched his head and looked around after sucking in air into a yawn.

"Why? Artemis kicked you out of your room?" Ares leaned forward at Apollo who was rubbing his eyes.

"Whoa," Apollo commented, scratching his neck and trying to stand up, "what time is it?"

"You missed two meals, twit." Ares scoffed.

Apollo nearly fell on the floor once more, but held himself stiff while a few strips of scrolls fell from his arms. He caught the strips, as big as his palm, and sighed relief. This did not escape from Ares' ever sly sight. He glared at Apollo, "what's that?"

"Nothing, just some drawings and…"

"Drawings of whooo?" Ares' skeptic eyes leaned forward, sending chills down Apollo's spine.

"I-I'll let you know once I'm finished!" Apollo reasoned out, shoving Ares' face away.

"Well it's probably a drawing of Ariadne. Can you at least give me a copy?"

Ares and Apollo looked at the one who just entered the room. His bright red wine hair was immediately noticed as he went to get something from a table away from the two. Apollo sighed, "Dionysus, how many times do I have to tell you, I'm not interested in Ariadne…"

"So she's not the one you drew?" Ares tried to grab the scrolls from Apollo's hand but Apollo immediately hit him in the head, "Stop with the drawing, you idiot!"

Dionysus never cared to smile. He took the goblet, the reason he was there, by a hand and was about to leave when Apollo stopped him with a swift grab on his shoulder. Dionysus nearly tripped and he faced Apollo with a glare.

"Dionysus will you please listen?" Apollo pleaded, giving a slight shake on Dionysus' shoulders.

"To what? Oh…" Dionysus paused, "Ariadne already read your letter? Congratulations."

Apollo rolled his eyes, "It's not what you think it is,"

"This is nonsense! I'm going," Dionysus scoffed and strongly pushed Apollo away. Apollo landed on a table filled with ceramics and caused the unfinished jars to fall, piercing the air with cracking noises. This time Ares has reached the limit of his patience. He immediately ran towards Dionysus and grabbed him by the collar as their faces neared. Ares' glare was far more fearsome that Dionysus'.

"You don't have ANY idea what Apollo has done for you!" Ares yelled in his anger, his free fist ready to hammer Dionysus' face. The red head merely sighed, making Ares a little more incensed. He would've given a blow at him but he was distracted by light running footsteps storming into the door. Both Ares and Dionysus looked at Athena's bright face, followed by a floating Hermes.

Athena was stopped at the sight. The long smile on her face slowly disappeared and her brows furrowed. Dionysus made this a way to push Ares' grip from his collar and fixed the rummaged clothing.

"There's nothing YOU and APOLLO has done for me except make my life miserable and—"

!

Everyone's eyes grew wide at the sound of a hard wake-up slap on Dionysus' cheek. Ares nearly stumbled after Athena swiftly pushed him only to award Dionysus with a swelling face. Dionysus' head stiffed at the side, and Ares couldn't help but watch with agape lips.

"WILL YOU PLEASE STOP THIS PATHETIC DRAMA OF YOURS!" Athena screamed at Dionysus. He slowly turned his head to look at her. Ares placed a palm on Athena's shoulder to calm her down but she seemed not to notice him. Dionysus' world was in a shock, so was his lips. He couldn't speak and just held his reddening cheek. Finally Athena's pouting lips slowly turned into a smile with eyes that triggered his conscience.

She held both his hands and sweetly said, "Fix yourself Dionysus…Ariadne's waiting for you,"

* * *

_To be cont'd_.

**A/N: oh god I'm so sorry I really can't concentrate much this time...I'll continue to update anyway =)**


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